Learning To Live
by WaveRider 53
Summary: this is a collection of one shots, mainly concerning the hollow bastion gang, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Naminé, Roxas, and Axel. oh Zack Fair from FF7 might show up, i know he's not in this game, but i love him with Aerith hope you enjoy :D
1. The Undelivered Letter

**Useless dabble, but read and enjoy anyways ******** a letter to Sora from Riku, explaining how Riku feels, and says what he feel he must do... R&R please**

**The Undelivered Letter**

Sora

The light in you and Kairi is strong, you're both so strong. I guess what I mean to say, is I can't find my light. I know it in me some where, after all we found the door to the light together, and it brought us home. That night I realized nothing changed and nothing will. But I changed, the darkness is strong in me, I can feel it. In the realm of darkness you face your worst fears, and my fear was losing the friendship we had. For the longest time I felt like I lost that friendship. You however showed me that it was not lost, just forgotten. You saved me Sora; you helped me out of the darkness. I tried to repay it back my leading you though different worlds on the orders of Diz and Mickey. I thought that by doing that I fully got my light back, and then I was sure it was completely back when you ridded me of Xemnas's form. But after we fought together my doubts, brought the darkness back into me again, and we were trapped. I remember talking about everything, about how we, well I mean more of you, saved everything. I was ready to give up. I knew Kairi was safe now, the worlds were safe again, and everything that mattered was put back together the way it should have been in the beginning. I felt like being trapped on the beach in the darkness was my punishment. I told you that I belonged there, in the darkness. You can't have light with out dark, and being trapped on that beach I figured we could be the darkness, that way the light would shine even brighter. You agreed with me thinking that we both deserved this. I said those things like I was talking about us, but I wasn't. I was talking about me, you belonged in the light. You deserved to shine, but I knew I was meant to fade back into the darkness. That letter from Kairi brought us back, it reminded you of your light, and that helped me find mine again. But now that we back I see the shadows move, I can hear them whisper. The worlds aren't at peace yet, but I know the only way I can help them is by finding my light first. And that I need to do alone."

Riku

He crunched the peace of paper in his hand; he planed on giving it to Sora and then disappearing into the realm of darkness to find his light. But as he talked to Sora about the door of light, he found he couldn't do it. So it stayed balled up in his hand. Just then Kairi came running down to them. She handed Sora a bottle with a note from the King inside. Riku was right the worlds aren't at peace yet, but the king their help, all of their help; dropping the crunched up letter in his hand into the sand. He figured his journey could wait. For now he was going to fight beside his friends. And who knows maybe they're dealing with the same thing. Maybe, just maybe his light is strongest when he's with his friends; maybe his light isn't lost after all.

**Please review !!**


	2. Both the Same

**He this is just a silly one shot, about Tifa and Axel both talking on the hill top where cloud later defeats Sephiroth. I know that Tifa and Axle don't meet in the game, but oh-well, this Idea popped in my head so I wrote it. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

_Both the Same_

She sits on the cliff's edge looking out, knowing that somewhere out there he stands. She swings her feet over the edge, for the first time she feel like she needs to cry, but like all the times before this, she cant; the tears wont come. The sound of crushing tiny rocks in the sand, tells her she no longer alone. Simultaneously she pulls on her gloves and curls her hand into fits; slyly she turns around though her hands are still by her side. A spiky red-headed man dressed in a black coat faces her. She recognizes the coat from somewhere; something tells her she should be on her guard but she's lacking to will to raise her hands.

"What? No fight?" the red head asks, mocking her, "your just going to let me kill you?"

Tifa hands raise to a fighting stance, but her thought still linger on the spiky hair blond, who's in other world, thinking he's alone. The red head chuckles, "you'll never beat me with you thought else where." Tifa forces her thoughts on to the up coming battle, glaring at the red head before her, she get ready to strike.

"nah, your wasting your time. I'm not here looking for fight. I here for the same reason you are." He has no expression, yet some how she knows that he's sad, unwilling to move; just like her. Slowly he walks past Tifa, not even glancing in her direction so Tifa's now looking at his back, "and what's that? why do you think I'm here?"

"To be alone." He sits down, his legs handing off the edge. For an unknown reason Tifa follows suite, but her hand are still clenched into fits.

"You know," she hears him sigh, "you and I aren't that different." His eyes are glazed over, looking out, but not seeing anything.

"How do you figure that?" Tifa asks

"We're both looking for someone, but knowing exactly where they are, yet their still lost to us. Were both trying to find our place, find where we belong?"

Tifa thinks about, he has a point, looking back now, she cant remember the last time she heard Cloud laugh, or even the last time he was really there when she looked into his eyes. "Who are you?" she tries to change the subject.

The red head looks at her, waits a bit, like as if he's trying to see if he should tell her the truth, "the name's Axel, got it memorized?"

Tifa nods curtly, "Tifa," she looks back out over the cliff, trying to find him, knowing that she won't be able to see him, "my name is Tifa Lockhart"

Axel watches her scan the horizon. "So Tifa, who are you looking for?" he eyes are glazed over again, unemotional.

"I don't really know any more, he's been gone so long." She guesses she just wants someone to talk to; that's the only reason she can come up with of why she's telling Axel this. "There are times where I can't even remember his old self, It's like he's been swallowed, consumed by something else…" Axel doesn't say anything, so Tifa continues "I just wish things would go back to normal, the way they used to be." Her voice is soft, like she's talking more to herself than the man next to her.

"Don't we all." Axle looks behind him at the trail leading down the mountain. "I've been wishing the same thing, sense he left." Tifa waits to see if he'll talk more, but Axle just focuses back out over the cliff.

"Who are you looking for?"

She can hear him breathe in, and hold it for a moment before letting it out, "just a friend, he left awhile ago. He left me alone with them. Said he had to go to find answers." There was slight bitterness in his voice, "he the only one I like… he made me feel whole again. But he left to find his answers, not realizing how lucky he is to have answers waiting to be uncovered."

Tifa wanted to ask what he's talking about, when he says things like 'them' or 'whole again' but something tells her she already know. "you one of them, aren't you?"

Axel looks at Tifa, he almost sad to ask, "what if I am?"

She shrugs, "you are…. I'm sorry."

He cant say was expecting that, but he nods anyways, not knowing what to say, no one ever felt sorry him, he never felt sorry, he cant truly feel anything, he only lies to himself, fooling his mind; making it seem like he can feel again. Axle is spared of trying to come up with something to say, for a black hooded figure come out of a black whole.

"Axel!!, what are you doing here? This is the last time I'm dealing with your lack of respect for those higher than you, number VIII!" the hooded man wasn't yelling, but his harsh voice sent chills down Tifa's back. "Get back to your work. And I trust you'll take care of her." he adds glaring at Tifa, before disappearing into the darkness once again.

"You know," axel looks directly at Tifa, "we not all that bad," he looks away from Tifa, and back to the horizon, now talking to himself more than her, "we just want back what we lost." He too then disappeared into the darkness. Leaving Tifa sitting on the edge of the cliff looking out, knowing that some where out there he's standing; feeling lost in the same darkness, Axel trapped in.

**Hope it turned out alright… read and review…if you like…. **


	3. Yuffie

So I'm pissed tonight. So I'm just going to write and see what comes out, I hope its good.

My name is Yuffie, I'm almost 19, but I still looked like I'm 15. I always was that way, ever since I was kid. True I'm still very much like a kid. But I know, when to be serious, the problem is that the other people never could tell when I'm done joking. Cloud used to be the only one that took me serious, but then slowly he stopped talking to me; he stopped talking to every one. Only showing up when he found necessity. He said that when he was swallowed by darkness, it felt like he couldn't get out. He still trying to get his light back, he thinks it gone, but we see it. We see that his light is still there, it just needs time to grow. We all try to help, and we told that many times, but he won't let us, he won't listen. Me and Tifa are the only ones that won't give up. Even Aerith gave up, sure she there for him. She says she just respects that he want to be alone; but. I think she doesn't like seeing him this way; it hurts her, so she's putting distance between them. I understand why she doing it but it not helping him.

Aerith a sweet heart, she so nice, that I can't believe she grew up in the same time zone, same place I did. Aerith is two years older me, and I don't think a foul thought has ever crossed her mind. True, she can fight, but she doesn't like to, and she never aims to kill, only wound. She and cloud, were together and long time ago, but there just friends now. Sometimes when I watch them talk I see it again, but it's only from Aerith. I don't think she ever got over him. Cloud has another girl after his heart, her names Tifa. She loves him; she just doesn't know it yet. But I can see it, I see it in the way she talks to him, and the he talks to her, but lately he doesn't want to see her. Countless times I lied to for him, telling her that cloud was on the other side of town, we in truth he was only just round the corner. Tifa's tough, she fights with out mercy, but the minute the fights over, you would think she's a different person, caring and kind. She spends most of her time looking for cloud, and he spends most of his time running from her. Cid also lives here, he helps constructs gummi ships for us, and helps rebuild the town, I don't talk to him much, mostly because every time I try, I receive the bird and get told to go away. Squall, well I guess he goes by Leon now, anyways he drifts around town, rebuilding, and keeping watch. Sometimes I see him watching over Aerith more than the town, I see him watching her, and Aerith is watching Cloud, who's running from Tifa. This town has suffered a lot, and some crazy stuff happens here. Sora pops up every once in while to help where he can. We're trying to rebuild, and keep track of the heartless, and the organization XIII. We're doing this all while trying to keep the police out, we don't have to worry about getting arrested, they stopped trying to that that a long time ago. However after the town was destroyed, they pop in every once in while trying to where they can to help, there more annoying than help though. Even so we give them task; Squall…uh I mean… Leon says it better to have them on pointless tasks than putting us in jail. By us he means me. I was the only one they would arrest, it probably was because I'm so small, and they feel like they can control me still. See what I mean the town in a crazy state right now, and it not helping that the people who are trying to fix it, us, are in just as much if not more crazy state. You see at the center of the town, we have cid, he like the rock everything is built on. He's constantly, making updates on our and Sora's gummi ship, trying to keep the heartless and the Originations XIII in his view so we know what's going on, we don't get very much information on them though, but a little is better than nothing. On top of all that he is trying to reconstruct the town. This brings us to our next person, Squall, or he changed his name to Leon now, but he'll always be Squall to me. Leon helps keep the heartless inside the town under wraps, while also trying to rebuild the town. And when ever he has free time, he spend it either with or watching Aerith. He won't admit it, but I think he likes her. No I know he does, it cute how when the heartless attack she the first person he asks about, but I know it hurts him, liking her the way he does. Because while he likes her, Aerith has no clue, she only has eyes for Cloud. So Leon hides his feeling, putting the town and others before himself. It's a selfless act, which you come to expect him to do, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that sees how much it kill him inside. Next comes Aerith, the flower girl, or that what I named her, because she always so bright and happy, just like a flower.

But I know she not always happy, she just doesn't let any one know that. In truth, she's in pain.

She's trapped in the middle a tangled web and emotion and feelings, but what worse is she doesn't even know she in it. She knows nothing of Leon's feeling, she only know her own. Her own hurtful feeling that won't let her get over Cloud. She can't get over the past and she can't seem to move on. And so she sits a waits patiently for Cloud to find his light, and see her standing by his side again.

Now, Cloud is lost. I've said it before and I'll say it again. He's lost inside of himself and he spend every seconded of every day, searching for his light.   
There's a man in town, Sephiroth, he attacks Cloud from the inside out, making Cloud feel like he alone, He's an evil man, I know that, we all know that. Sephiroth has been fighting Cloud for years. It's funny this man used to be Cloud hero, the one he would look up to but times changes and he became evil. I remember fighting alone side of Cloud, trying to defeat him, I was only 15 then. We though we killed him. But it hurt us, we lost a lot of friends. Next I remember Sephiroth coming back from the dead, and Cloud had to kill him again. This time I don't think, he fully healed. Then our world was scrambled, things changed.

Aris came back as Aerith, Sephiroth, was alive again, and Squall joined us. It's funny, blessing come disguised in troubles. Anyways there's nothing I can do about the new Sephiroth problem, I'm not strong enough, and even if I was Cloud wouldn't let me. He says it his battle, Cloud believes that defeating Sephiroth is the only way to get his light. So Cloud goes around getting stronger, and looking for his light, never realizing that out side of his own tangled battle in his head, he's mixed in the middle of the same web, Aerith is in. Cloud looks at Aerith as a friend, and nothing more, I feel as though he loves her as a sister, and that's something she can't or refuses to understand. But out side of Aerith, Cloud has Tifa. Tifa is one of Clouds best friends, or at least I think she is. They used to spend so much time together, talking and laughed, even in a fight they would make the other one laugh. But around the same time Cloud started to get lost in his own battle, he started to push me and Tifa out. At first Tifa and I would work together. But now, she spends most of her time following Cloud. I believe she would follow him to the ends of the earth. Like I said before, she love him, just doesn't know it yet. Cloud on the other hand, I think he knows he loves her, and that way he works the hardest to keep her away from him. I don't think he wants to hurt her. But he can't see how much she hurting already. My town is crazy, all kinds of problems happen here, but we deal with it, even though we already have too much to deal with. Sometimes I see myself as the glue that holds everything together. Sometimes I feel that if I wasn't here, to talk Cloud out of killing himself, or to tell Aerith not to run away, or convince Tifa not to give up that the whole town would crumble. Even Squall comes to me for help, well with him all I do is listen to his troubles of the past, but even so, it's still helping. I don't mind much, it give me other things to think about, other than how Sora doing or when the next attack going to be. It also gives me an excuse to go out and fight. Cloud was the one who taught me how to fight. But Leon was the one that taught me how to be stealthily. I guess you could you say, that in a way I'm a ninja, I attack from behind and by the time you realize I'm there, your dead. I don't like getting mad, hell I really never get mad, but when the stress of holding everything, everyone together, gets too much it's nice to go out and kill as many heartless things as I can. My town is crazy, sometimes I feel like I the one holding everything together, keeping every one secretes, and helping them though hard times. It's funny I can help every one sort out the craziness in all there head, I just can't sort out mine. At least I can't do it alone, but if I would put my problems out, like everyone else, I fear the town will crumble. I wish I could talk to somebody, have somebody tell me it would be ok, but I don't have that, so I have to be strong for every one else.


	4. Questions

**I am suffering from writers block… my story Radiant Gardens will not be updated until I can find my note book that has the next two chapters in it.. I lost the book, normally I would just rewrite the chapters but my writers block is not letting me so you'll have to deal with these one shots…**

"Hey cloud"

"Yeah"

"Are you ok?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Why don't you answer?"

"Because I don't know."

"How do you not know? Your either ok or your not ok."

"well then, I guess…I'm ok"

"I don't believe you."

…

"hey Cloud."

"yes Yuffie"

"are you sad?"

"no"

"I don't believe you"

…

"hey Cloud?"

…

"are you going to answer?"

…

"Tifa worried."

"about what?"

"HA! You do talk!"

"about what?"

"you"

"Cloud- where you going?"

"to find Tifa"

**It's not much, and it's bad but give me fed back please, it the only way I improve…**


	5. Lost Again

**Lost again**

We were walking down the street, it was the first time in weeks he was here, and even longer since the first time we talked one on one. I remember when everyday he would give lessons in fighting. We weren't talking right now but at least having him around friends was a step.

"It's different here." Cloud said as if he was talking to his shadow.

"yeah I guess, but squall trying to make it the same." I said.

"no I mean the feeling, it feels sad" his eyes were out of focus, I was losing him.

"well how happy can we be, with heartless are everywhere," I smiled hoping to get one back.

"but" Cloud turned to me, "you haven't changed, your still the happy little ninja" he smiled and small almost unnoticeable smile. He also called me little ninja, he hasn't called me that in over two years. I smiled, he was more like himself today.

"Yuffie?" his eyes were unfocused again. "I cant . I cant do it anymore." His arm tried to grasp the air. I reached out to let me grab my arm "do what? Cloud just tell me. Let me help." His eyes focused back on to mine. He was squeezing hard on my arm. "Promise me you wont change."

"Cloud tell me how I can help."

"promise me. Promise me you wont change" his grip tightened.

"ok, I promise, I wont change, I swear." I was now grasping his hand trying to help anyway I could. A flash of light came and went quickly. Cloud glanced behind him and just as quickly he pulled me to behind a trash can with his hand at my mouth, still shacking from earlier. Looking out to the street I saw Tifa walk by. His grip tightened, I could fell him slipping away again pulling his hand from my mouth I said sternly "No Cloud! Stay here, look at me." His eyes were empty, it was no use. "Cloud let me help you. God damn it Cloud. At least let Tifa help you." At the sound of her name he looked up. "she's not far let me get her.."

his eyes harden and his grip on my hand, move to my arm. "you wont tell her I was here" he didn't even sound the same, he was lost again.

"let me go get her" I ignored him, I was going to help him fight though this

"no!" with his grip on my arm he forcefully through me into the wall, I wasn't ready for the impact, and crashed my head hard into the brick. The feeling of worm blood trickled down the top of my head and onto my face.

I glared at him feeling the gash on my head, but his eyes were different.

"yuff, shit, I did that…I have to go"

"no" I yelled, forgetting about the pain in my head.

" I have to. Look at what I just did. He's right, if I stay here, I'll hurt you guys worse than that."

"who's right? Cloud! Who is 'He'" I yelled at the disappearing figure walking away.

"damn it Cloud."


End file.
